First off, many of us know why we should forgive: so God can forgive us of our sins, and be released from a life-hindering grudge, so that we can move on and get healthy/well. Often, we think that forgiving a violator is going to make what they did ok/of no consequence. It does NOT make it ok and the relationship doesn't go back to the way it was like nothing happened.
This is easier said than done, because some have been so violated that the grudge/hatred/rage against the violator is boiling deep within. They have become so familiar with the grudge/hatred toward the violator, that it's a part of their life they really don't want to give up.
As much as we'd like to tell someone to forgive and move on, the person must be ready and willing, or the words of forgiveness will be empty and void of sincerity. Some have literally been talked into saying they forgive someone and their heart is not ready and they don't mean it.
Let's be sensitive and caring with a person who is hurting from traumatic events. We know what they need to do, but they have to work through a healing process that allows for sincere forgiveness. We typically don't forget what has happened to us after giving forgiveness, but when we look upon the abuse/event, we can pour mercy on it in knowing that Jesus died for our sins.
Ready to forgive someone that hasn't asked for your forgiveness for the wrongs committed against you?
Go to Jesus in prayer and say it out loud that you forgive [insert name]. If you'd like assistance in doing this, I would love to pray with you. The relief and freedom that comes with this is life-changing.