Monday, January 23, 2012

Stupid People

"Let me see you stripped down to the bone." (Depeche Mode)

Other than the physical possibilities of the lyrics above, there are deeper and more spiritual parallels to be considered.

He shines a spotlight into caves of darkness, hauls deepest darkness into the noonday sun. (Job 12:22 MSG)

Light made a way into a cave of mine and revealed that I don't like people in general. Don't get me wrong here, I like and love a big group of people in my life and look to help, but in social situations, I feel awkward as fu@$. I'd like to blame it on being introverted and shy, but the reality is that people make life tough for me. I need them, but I don't want them.

I know I'm getting off-track when I overly-criticize people. It usually centers around me feeling irritated with their lack or intelligence or irritating behaviors they display. Like I'm so easy to approach and be around. I'm the most perfect and pleasant person I know. ;)

A major contradiction in my life is being revealed once again by the Light: I talk about community and people loving on each other through friendship, but I'm not willing to go there. Mindy kindly reminded me yesterday that I'm missing out on great friendships, because I think I can't relate and they're corny.

I do think most people are dumb and corny and God is working on me. If I'm going to live from my heart, I have to be vulnerable enough to risk rejection. This has proven to be the toughest struggle of my life: trusting others with my sensitive heart.


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