Nurturer

May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace. (Psalms 144:12 NLT)

May we constantly remind ourselves to nurture our children/family/friends.

Word,
Jay

Reconciler

For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:19 NLT)

Obviously, God in/through Jesus reconciled with us. I believe reconciliation is a most vital/paramount biblical principle that Christians need to value/practice (Spirit of Reconciliation).

(Jesus speaking): So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. (Matthew 5:23, 24 NLT)

A Reconciler has the following attributes: peace-making, forgiving, gracious, confessing, patient, repenting, and keeps no record of wrongs. There are more, but you get the picture.

With all that is in me, do I reconcile with anyone/everyone where a beef/problem exists?

Do I hide behind a wall of pride that insists that I'm right and THEY should be initiating the reconciliation?

Am I so prideful that I can't
/won't admit I've wronged someone and ask for their forgiveness?

Do I hold a grudge that I won't let go of, so that I won't forgive?

Am I willing to lose peace/harmony/family/friends/coworkers because of my pride?

"I'm afraid that if I reconcile and/or forgive , that the wrong will be swept under the rug and all things will become falsely good again."

Are you a Reconciler or a Divider?

Let's discuss this.


P.S. Though I've presented this in a black and white manner, I completely understand how extenuating circumstances don't always allow for a mutual reconciliation and/or even a way to approach certain people.

Jay

It's been awhile.

Feels good to be writing again. I got swept up in a tornado that put me out of town a lot. Looks like I'll be local for awhile and am already enjoying the rest.

I look forward to interacting with you. If you have any topics you'd like to discuss, please feel free to ask me.

Word,
Jay

Putting Away Childish Things

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11 NLT)

We don't like to think that we think/behave like children as adults. We're always telling people to grow up and if you're a Christian, the meaning of "grow up" is drastically different.

To the world, they think they're grown up by aging and being "successful" in life. They also think that behaving like an adult requires no showing of emotion or weakness.

Here's what "growing up" means to Christians (in no certain order):
1. Humility
2. Pursuit of Wisdom (seek, receive, and live)
3. Know God intimately
4. Addressing and putting away (always room for grace) things like: jealousy, comparisons, covetous, pride, envy, hatred, grudges, vindictiveness, rage, fear, worry, etc.......

It's not easy to grow up the Christian way, but it's the only way to deeper levels of understanding and freedom.

JayBird

Peace and Dissociation

I have spent the last 6 months pondering if a person can accurately identify the difference between peace and dissociation--given that the mind protects itself from traumatic/hurting/stressful events by dissociating (the splitting off of a group of mental processes from the main body of consciousness).

If any reality be perceived as "too much to handle," a checking/zoning-out occurs. At the core we know it exists, but will place the reality/truth into a compartment/box that is placed out of sight and acknowledgement.

After awhile of denial-produced "peace," we start to receive insights that kindly remind us of reality/truth that needs addressing. At this point, as free humans with free will, must be responsible for an area of hurt that needs Jesus' healing.

By no means is blank staring, zoning-out, denial, apathy, complacency, or any other faux form of ignoring the truth , going to heal the hurt on its own with time. Time is not our friend when spiritual infection has begun.

This question crossed my mind several times during this process: "Are you claiming peace when you're simply checked-out?"

Ever feel numb and void of creative thoughts/ideas? For that matter, ever feel so apathetic that you feel you may have lost your ability to care/give a damn?

I'm currently addressing any area/reality that I want to avoid and/or any behavior that stinks of dismissive judgement on others.

Your thoughts or questions are welcome.

Jay

Dear Mom,

My heart longs for you. Oh, to be hugged by you. Your blue eyes and smile, positioned like a perfectly presented portrait, floats in my mind.

My heart moans with sadness that we've been apart for so long. Imperfect people trying to survive the best we could.

I so badly want to hear your voice and learn of what you've been up to and what makes you happy. Do you still plant flowers and drink lots of iced tea? Your love of flowers was passes to me and when I see them, I think of you, especially red roses and sunflowers. My favorite smell is honeysuckle.

At my house, Mindy carries on your salad and birthday cake recipes, because they taste amazing and in honor of you.

I have hurt for your hurts. You are the most giving/serving person I have ever known. So selfless and unassuming, I thank you for you being you. My heart continues to break for The loss of Dad and Paul. I still stand by my principles/decisions, but I greatly struggle with not having seen them before they passed.

Shall we push all the junk aside and start over? I don't know how it will look, but I'll be damned if I lose another family member without reconciliation.

What do you say? I love you very much.

JayBird

I Reject Myself

A HUGE chunk of my life was wasted on being afraid of living freely and diving into things. I still find myself not engaging when it comes to people or experiences. It makes me sad to know this.

I reject myself before someone else does. At 41, I still have remnants of the insecure/hurting/scared little boy. At work/family/friends, I find that I engage quite easily, but outside of work (church, general public), I clam-up and go into protect mode.

Mindy continues to lovingly remind me that she knows when I'm in self-protect mode by my behaviors and comments toward others: hyper-critical, fault-finding, superior, condescending, suspicious, and aloof.

I am living proof that a person can be a loving and kind in one compartment of life and suspicious and judgmental in another. I remember the very day at age 12 when I decided people were not to be trusted and I withdrew myself.

This continues to cause a sadness in me. My personal challenge is to dive into things out of heart and let the cards fall as they may.

I start church softball league this Thursday. It's a just for "fun" league and it will hold two assignments for me: 1) have fun (easier said than done, for me) and 2) be friendly and don't harass my team with negative comments when they're sucking.

I'm glad God loves me enough to strip away fear and pride that cause the issues above. Only an insecure person needs to degrade and belittle people with sarcasm and condescension.

Jay